If you’ve read any of my previous posts, then you may know that I used to go to a Crossfit box where I would kick-ass on a regular basis, mainly my own. It was truly fun and it was truly fun-filling (new word, I called it!) and I do truly miss it. Due to a change in our family schedule, we’ve had to abandon the Crossfit (for a while) and move on to other modes of fitness. We went back to a functional dynamic gym in our area where we first introduced to tire flips, sledgehammers et al and olympic lifting. Going back to this gym felt like visiting an old friend that you could rely on, always there. Sure, the equipment was old and beaten up but it was reliable and I knew my way around. I was comfortable there. Sure, I was missing the daily WODs but they were soon replaced with Warrior Met-Con classes and Strength and Power sessions. There wasn’t as much noise but there was still some sense of comraderie. I was getting back into a routine when I received an email from our old trusted friendly gym that they were going out of business effective end of January.
What was I going to do Now? I guess I just had to stop working out. The universe does not want me to exert myself and so I shall not transgress that or else the consequences would be catastrophic. As much as I really wanted to accept this, I knew in my heart that I could not give up my fitness for chips and ciders.
= da best thing ever!
I went to check out another place where they do similar functional and resistance classes. I did a couple of those classes at this significantly smaller gym and I liked it, but I kept focusing on what the gym was lacking. ‘It’s not big enough‘ , ‘It’s too busy’, ‘I don’t know anyone here’, ‘It’s a bit out of the way’. Anyhow, I was totally aware that my strength to make excuses was gaining on my squats. After my trial period at that gym, I never returned. Nice place but Nah.
Which brings me to what I think seems the most sensible solution which is the gym that belongs to the University close to our home. It is the most reasonably-priced option and it has all of the latest state of the art equipment. The hours are great, open until 11pm and it is literally a 5 minute walk from our doorstep. Also, they have an Olympic Lifting room. All sounds very good.The only thing is that the classes are mostly cardio driven. So I say with a heavy heart that I might have to work out there….BY MYSELF!
I went to the gym for the second time last night and I fell back into that insecure mode that rears its ugly head once in a while. There’s always a bit of anxiety before entering a ‘new’ gym. You don’t know where everything is, you don’t know who the people are. You’re not too sure about all the pieces of equipment. Even though rationally, you know that you’ve pushed your limits before and that there is heavily-underutilized and bored staff to help you if you really needed it and to be honest, most people at the gym are very nice. Self-defeatist Me just creates these worst case scenarios in my mind and it has them on a re-loop feed.
I realize how whiny and ridiculous I sound as that this is how the majority of the world works out. Yes, Crossfit ruined me in many ways. I grew to love the community and supportive environment. I saw results in that environment. However, I do feel like I’ve been avoiding going down this road for a while now until it’s just staring me in the face, to the point where I can no longer ignore it. I’ve grown too accustomed to the motivational element of working out in a group. The urging eachother on, the high fiving when your’re done, the grunting together – so much good and fun! My inner coach is also saying that that there is something very rewarding about pushing yourself when you are alone that is very gratifying. I must enter this world of self-reflection and growth. I have to be my own CHEERLEADER and COACH at the same time. I have to push myself beyond my own limits. I mean that’s at least what the Rock says, am I right The Rock?
Thanks for chiming in Mr. Rock, Sir!
LET ME TELL YOU (this is the way all crossfitters start a conversation to non-crossfitters by the way) , in Crossfit, I became accustomed to people watching over me and encouraging me to do my last couple of reps even though I felt like my shoulders were going to jump off my body. But for some reason in this gym, where I am the anonymous member, I felt insecure. Where nobody was watching me or keeping an eye on my reps, I felt like a drifting astronaut in space taking clumsy big steps around the place. I thought to myself ‘I can’t work out here! What if I try to get on a rack and I can’t locate the 35 pound bar or I don’t know how to adjust the rack clips? Even though I’ve done it hundreds of times before.
Realistically I knew, as I was hiding by the side of the gym, doing wall balls, that I was letting the worst get the best of me. I tried to tell myself ‘C’mon ! Woman, you have done the Crossfit OPEN TWICE and the first time you did it RX! What the hell is your problem? ‘ My inner coach piped up and said ‘ Get to those squat racks! I don’t care if you don’t do one single squat but you gotta get on one of those racks.’ I went to where the racks were and it looked like they were all taken, I convinced myself to not ask anyone anything! Rational me would have asked around if all the racks were taken but no, I just let the face value of fear intimidate me to NOT ASK ANYONE ANYTHING. Then I defaulted to the rowers where I did 3 stints of 25 cal rows which gave me a nice base sweat but not what I intended to do during this gym session. After my last rowing set, I decided to leave. I walked away but inside I was crawling towards the bathrooms. I was disapointed with myself and went back to the changeroom, put on my jacket and boots and walked home. At the end of the day I did do some kettlebell swings, kettlebell deadlifts, wallballs and rowing but it was not the workout that I had planned. That was the point.
One thing is sure that this is going to be a challenge for me and if I’ve learned anything from Crossfit (there’s that word again!) is that if it scares you, then you should do it. I’m going again tonight after work and this time I will get a hold of self-defeatist me, push her in my gym locker, and keep her there while I take care of my biz.
Oh one more little vignette I forgot to mention happened during my first session at this new gym where a young man comes up to me and says;
‘Excuse MA’AM, Can I borrow your 20’s ?’
MY INNER RESPONSE WAS :
MY OUTER RESPONSE WAS: ‘YES, YOU MAY’
Hope all of your gym tales are good ones 🙂